Racing Quotes
| You know you're a Race if... |
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| You think the primary purpose of wings is to PREVENT flight. |
| You take your helmet along when you go to a car dealership for a test-drive. |
| Every time you go to the grocery store you feel compelled to beat your previous best time. |
| When something falls off of your car, you wonder how much weight you just saved. |
| When you hear 'overcooked it,' instead of food you think 'off the track.' |
| You change engine oil every other week. You check tire pressures every other day. |
| You thoroughly enjoy showing the tailgater behind how to drive around a highway off-ramp. |
| You once had an argument with your wife over whether you should pay the mortgage on time or get those new heads while they were on sale. |
| You push your cart through a proper line in the grocery store. |
| You've paid $5.00 a gallon for gas without complaining. |
| You bought a tow vehicle instead of braces for your kid. |
| You and your wife go house hunting and you never actually get inside the house because you're checking out the garage for 220v. |
| You sit in your race car in a dark garage and make car noises and shift and practice your heel and toe, while waiting for your motor to get back from the machine shop. |
| Your wife doesn't understand why you need three sets of tires for your car. |
| Your garage holds more cars than your house has bedrooms. |
| You have car parts in your cubicle at work. |
| You think the last line of the Star Spangled Banner is: "Gentlemen, start your engines!" |
| You're registered for wedding gifts with Edelbrock and Griggs. |
| Your Christmas list begins with another set of BFG R1s and aluminum rack bushings and your 'significant other' knows what these are. |
| Your home library consists of auto parts catalogs, books written by F1 drivers, anything about Carroll Shelby, and 400 car magazines. |
| People know you by your car number or your "offs" -- "Oh, you were the one stuck in the mud in Turn 5 last weekend!" |
| Your first date involves asking her to crew for you. |
| Your friends have never seen your hair actually combed. They only know it's color as "greasy." |
| Your family brings the couch into the garage so they can spend some time with you. |
| You complain when cars in front of you on highway off-ramps don't stay on the line, causing your exit speed to drop. |
| A neighbor asks if you have any oil, to which you query, "Synthetic or organic?" and they reply, "Corn." |
| You refer to the corner down the street from your house as "Turn One." |
| You always late apex the intersection and try to pass a few cars coming out. |
| You can't stand anyone telling others how to drive. Of course, you are the best. |
| You can't stand understeer. |
| You will gladly pay up to $8 for a quart of engine oil. |
| You hate long distance driving vacations, but you will gladly drive 800 miles to the race track. |
| You think that traction control and ABS are for those who can't drive. |
| You save broken car parts as "mementos." |
| You've tried synthetic oil and racing gas in your lawn mower. |
| You've tweaked your riding lawn mower trying to improve its cornering ability. |
| Instead of pictures in your wallet, you have time slips. |
| You would choose a rollbar over air conditioning if it were an option. |
| You enjoy driving through wet, empty parking lots using the Emergency Brake to turn. |
| You spend more on insurance premiums than on food. |
| When someone asks where you went to school, you reply, "Skip Barber". |
| You have racing shops programmed on your speed dialer. |
| You own five cars and only one of them is street legal. |
| You know the "racing line" of every turn in your daily commute. |
| You've slalomed in a construction zone, and counted your penalty time in the rearview mirror afterwards. |
| After you tell your wife where you'd like to go on your vacation she answers: "Why, is there a race there?" |
| Grass IS a racing surface. |
| You believe anyone can drive in a straight line. |
| You don't wait for the red light to go green - you wait for the red light to go out. |
| You know the "Line" of your office parking lot. |
| If it is a fair race, you forgot to change your tires. |
| Your friend comes over to take you for a drive in his new car and you run inside to get your helmet. |
| You've driven to work in Nomex driving shoes and changed when you got there. |
| You have four complete sets of sockets, two rolling tool boxes and not a single hammer. |
| If you drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol |
| You removed your car stereo and horn because they weighed too much. |
| You've watched COPS and critiqued the suspect's driving line. |
| Your garden hose holder is an old wheel. |
| You've put on a three-point belt and felt naked. |
| You've ever made a small fortune racing by starting off with a big one. |
| You've ever had to explain the difference between a wheel and a tire. |
| If you wax your daily driver but toss tools on top of your more expensive race car. |
| You take your helmet to the eyeglasses store to make sure the new ones fit thru the eyeport. |
| You walk the "line" in your office hallways. |
| You aim for the apex when walking around corners. |
| You measure tire wear in number of events instead of miles. |
| You've been asked the year of your car and you say Which Part? |
| If you pack a torque wrench and extra oil to travel 100 miles to visit your in-laws. |
| Your air gauge is in a koozie. |
| If someone asks if you drove there and you say "No, I trailered it." |
| If your wife has ever said, "Just go" and you held back a smile. |
| You've ever been pulled over and considered losing the Cop on the next three turns. |
| You've ever stopped to help a stranded motorist just to use your new portable impact drill. |
| You are behind on bills but your mechanic is paid up. |
| You've ever complimented someone's tires. |
| You've ever argued that worn street tires on your minivan are the same as slicks. |
| You've ever debated to buy a house or fix your cars. |
| Your co-workers all know to call you with car issues. |
| You've ever met another car nut and became instant life long friends. |
| Picking out tires for your daily driver requires a lot thought. |
| You've ever used an impact drill to remove a children's bicycle wheel. |
| You keep old brakes pads from six changes ago "just in case." |
| Your tools are clean, oil is changed, brake fluid is flushed but the car is dirty. |
| You know how to override the governors on the rental golf carts. |
| You go through cars more often than helmets. |
| You've ever turned off the radio and listened to your engine instead. |
| You've ever measured tire temps on a daily driver. |
| You've ever forgotten you owned an extra motor. |
| You've ever had your wheels stolen and didn't worry because you had another set. |
| You've ever see a co-worker's new car and advised them to get new rubber. |
| You've ever beaten a young punk's hot rod with your minivan. |
| You could have paid off your house by now…and your neighbor's. |
| You've ever asked someone how their car is doing before inquiring about their recent surgery. |
| You've trashed your stock car jack in favor of a much larger aluminium one because "it is better." |
| Your two year old has sockets for building blocks instead of actual blocks. |
| Your child's toy cars match yours with the same paint scheme. |
| You've broken up with someone over Automatic vs. Manual. |
| You won't date someone who doesn't know when their next oil change is due. |
| You have tire marks on your hood. |
| You've ever forgotten your hood pins…and paid the price for it. |
| You hear about the Bus Stop and think Daytona's road course. |
| You see pool noodles and remember your roll cage. |
| You see a cone marking the apex and turn in. Only to remember you are on your street and it is marking a missing drain cover. |
| If you don't include your tow vehicle in your car count. |
| You pack floor jacks and an air compressor for family vacations. |
| You have more pictures of your car than of your kids. |
| You still have engines for cars you no longer own. |
| You have dents all around and honestly don't care. |
| You have Debusman's address memorized. |
| You're trying to shave seconds off each time you rotate your tires. |
| Your daughter in law is about to deliver you a grandson... and you are more concerned about the delivery of your new race car! |
| You make suspension adjustments on your lunch hour to correct the oversteer you experienced on the commute to work. |
| You're asked how the weather is outside and you respond, "at which track?" |
| You have rats nest in your race car because you hardly ever start it off track. |
| Every time you change your oil you change your tires. |
| When you care more about your car's self apearence than your own. |
| You've actually forgotten where you keep all your cars. |
| You have more spare tires than your wife has shoes. |
| You can't remember which one of your cars you left your helmet in. |
| Your coworkers are baffled by you owning more than one car. |
| You have more cars than drivers in your family. |
| You have car parts for cars you no longer own. |
| Your shelves have more car parts than boxes. |
| Shiny new sports cars don't impress you. |
| You measure a tire's life in weekends instead of miles. |
| You've ever fallen for a girl who not only bought a sports car but could tell you all about it. |
| You've taken your kid to the garage to get tools to build an Erector set. |
| You have racing games on your phone. |
| Near misses during rush hour don't phase you. |
| Your car is awesome but getting in and out of it just sucks. |
| Everyone laughs at you for buying a Miata and you just grin. |
| You can't remember the type of tow vehicle you have except that is has an "engine." |
| You have walked back into your house twice because you keep picking up the wrong keys. |
| You've gotten in your family car and tried to insert the keys in the wrong side of the dash. |
| You fold your shop towels but won't lift a finger to help fold the laundry. |
| You have more shop towels than bath towels. |
| Nothing in your garage has anything to do with lawn work or carpentry. |
| Every time you gas up, you yell to your spouse to time you. |
| Only the driver's side of your windshield gets cleaned. |
| The word Bank has nothing to do with money. |
| When you have an accident, the first thing you try to do is pull off the steering wheel. |
| You consider slower cars in the left lane as 'lapped traffic'. |
| You go to a stock car race and don't need a program |
| You know the back way to Talledega. |
| You make engine noises while watching racing on TV. |
| You make sure to stay under 55 as you leave the gas pumps. |
| You think the first car at a stoplight is 'on the pole'. |
| You time yourself on your wrist watch when you pull up to a self serve gas pump. |
| Your mechanic tells you to stop referring to him as 'your crew chief'. |
| Despite of all the time and trouble, you're anxious for the season to start. |
| Everywhere you go, you try to find the fastest line through the turn. |
| The car gets waxed more often than your floor. |
| The police have a picture of your car taped to their dashboard. |
| The tire shop won't honor the tread-life warranty on any car you've been anywhere near. |
| You bought a race car before buying a house. |
| You buy cheap tires for your street car, to save money for your race tires. |
| You buy new parts because you don't know where you put the spares. |
| You came back early from your honeymoon in order to attend driver's school. |
| You can't remember when you last worked on weekdays and rested on weekends. |
| You complain the seat belts in the family car aren't tight enough. |
| You critique the way people wave the flags at a parade. |
| You do more catalog shopping than your wife. |
| You feel compelled to beat your previous best time when you go on a trip. |
| You get your first racing tee shirt and you are really excited. |
| You have enough spare parts to build another car. |
| You have more pictures of race cars on you desk than of your family. |
| You have more than one roll of duct tape around the house. |
| You paid more for your race car than for your house. |
| You plan your social life around the race schedule. |
| You put all the race car receipts you can under 'Auto Repair Expense' on your budget. |
| You remember the details of every race you've been in, but can't remember your phone number. |
| You select pets based on their ability to survive a weekend alone. |
| You stick your arm out the window and raise it straight up before turning into your driveway. |
| You used to have money. |
| Your 2-year-old knows the meanings of all the flags. |
| Your criteria for selecting a 'significant other' includes auto repair skills. Air tools are a plus. |
| Your daughter was an SCCA member when she was 1 day old. |
| Your wife can never find enough hangers because you've used all the wire ones as welding rods. |
| Your wife decides to become a race official so she'll see more of you during the season. |
| You've started looking for sponsors for your daily commute. |
| You believe straights are for fast cars and corners are for fast drivers. |
| When you have dead weeds on the rear deck of the inside of your car. |
| You are reading these at 03:00 AM. In January. |
| You put your helmet in the front of your Porsche and then worry that you should have put it inside in case you read-ended another car. |
| You look at your bank account and begin to cry. |
| You scheduled a race the day before you get married; and you're the bride. |
| You refer to Bott's Dots as "Gators." |
| You adjust the tire pressures on your trailer because it understeers. |
| You've ever measured your pool temperature with an infrared temp sensor. |
| You've ever needed a vacation from the track because you are there so much. |
| You go months before spending a weekend at home. |
| You don't count your tow vehicle in the list of cars you own. |
| Your car isn't ready but you still go to the track and just walk around. |
| You honestly do not know the year your track car was built. |
| You detail your engine to look for possible oil leaks but could care less about the interior. |
| You take your kids to the track to spend more time with them. |
| Your iPhone has timing software on it. |
| You've mounted a race seat and harness to your riding lawn mower. |
| You have a car inside your home as a piece of art - and I'm not talking about the garage. |
| You mixup ROSTER with ROADSTER |
| You always wear your seatbelt not because it's the law but because you take spirited corners. |
| Your a/c vent smells like the socks in your helmet bag. |
| Your trailer has its own tire budget. |
| All your tools are in your trailer and not your garage. |
| You have a near miss on a public road and don't flub the words in the song you're singing. |
| You come across a six car pile up and you first look for the line. |
| You come across a wreck and say "God bless attrition." |
| Your childrens names are:SEBRING, DAYTONA, ROEBLING and HOMESTEAD |
| You wear a Hans on your bicycle. |
| You consider a flat tire a "mechanical." |
| You consider 10,000 RPM as mid range. |
| You are happiest when your street car's tires are worn to racing depth and the wear bars are showing. |
| You thoroughly enjoy showing the tailgater behind how to drive around a highway off-ramp. |
| Your racing budget is one of the big three -- mortgage, car payments and maintenance/modifications. |
| Your email address refers to your race car rather than to you. |
| You bought a race car before buying furniture for the new house. |
| You're looking for a tow vehicle and still haven't bought furniture! |
| You know well that Orthodontic work is the equivalant of three sets of tires. |
| You look at the purchase of tools as a long term investment. |
| Your GF says, "If you buy another car, we are breaking up." |
| You own more race cars than children. |
| More than one race parts supply house recognizes your voice and greets you by name when you call. |
| You install upgrades on your car at your work. |
| After your answer to "What did you do this weekend?" the next question is always: "And you do this for fun?" |
| You have a separate drawer for 'garage clothes'. |
| You talk to other cars on the road, calling them by the manufacturer's name. |
| Your criteria for selecting a significant other include auto repair skills, air tools optional. |
| Your friends don't recognize you without a helmet and driver's suit. |
| You remember the dates and details of every race you've ever been in, but can't remember your own cell phone number. |
| You give out Summit Racing's number when a friend asks for the best hardware store. |
| You always do a toe & heel downshift while whoever might be your passenger gives you a real funny look. |
| Understeer makes you want to throw up a little. |
| You've found your lawnmower runs pretty good on 108 octane gas. |
| The local police and state Highway Patrol have a picture of your car taped to their dashboard. |
| You spend more time polishing your exhaust tips every day than you do bathing. |
| White smoke coming out from under your tires is a common sight. |
| You consider the redline a "conservative suggestion" and the rev limiter "a fun limiter." |
| Your idea of a good time is sitting around figuring out gear ratios and the ideal final drive ratio for given situations. |
| When someone refers to "The Good Book", you think of "The Auto Math Handbook" |
| You know the 1/4 mile times and skid pad numbers of your riding mower and want to improve them. |
| You've embarrassed your significant other at least once by insisting on wearing your full face helmet while driving. |
| When a girl asks if you are single and you pop your hood. |
| You have started to only race crotch rockets b/c they're the only competition. |
| When someone asks you to sell your car for the blue book you just laugh at their stupidity. |
| When you no longer snore, but make boost and blow-off-valve noises in your sleep. |
| You go through tires almost as fast as gas |
| You're sick of the fast and the furious. |
| You have a brand new set of tires, but you keep looking at the tire ads, anyway. |
| You can quote all of your cars specs, but can't remember your anniversary. |
| You take the long way everywhere and still get there first. |
| You talk about your car like it was made by God. |
| When you spend 90 hours within a week and a half looking for a 1/2 psi boost leak. |
| You have 10K in mods, but the stock stereo system. |
| You look at your boost gauge more than your speedometer. |
| E-bay loves you. |
| As you're washing the car, you take your jacket off so it won't scratch the paint. |
| The last one doesn’t bother you, because your car likes it harder and faster anyway. |
| When you hear the term “pump gas” you think of $4+ a gallon an 100+ octane. |
| You make more power with one liter than most cars do total. |
| You get your roomates girlfriend cause she likes your car better. |
| You have another car that costs less than the tires on the race car that you drive when it rains. |
| People crap their pants when you tell them how much boost you run daily. |
| People start to chase you on the highway to follow you. |
| You dont even look at the price of regular gas any more. |
| You are more worried about hurting your car in a wreck than yourself. |
| Your GF threatens to break up with you if you don't spend more time with her. |
| Cops stop you to talk about your car. |
| You smirk at people in their slow, $60,000 M3's |
| Your upgrades are worth more than most peoples cars. |
| Your your neighbor asks how his new exhaust sounds and you say, "stock." |
| People tell you an auto is slow, and you laugh at their ignorance. |
| You take pride in knowing your only 15 min. from anywhere. |
| When you don’t like to answer how much you really have invested in your car around your father. |
| When you wake up from a nightmare and your safe place is the inside of your car. |
| When you're walking and you hear an exhaust note from far away and know exactly what car model and brand it is. |
| When you stomp it through every tunnel and rev it under every bridge to hear the wicked exhaust note. |
| When traction doesn't exist until third gear. |
| You'd rather dream about your car than girls. |
| When you get your pay check, and the only thing you think about it what mod to do next. |
| You spend 6 hours in cold finding and solving the 2 lb boost leak because “Its just not right like that” |
| You laugh when some dude at your work is talking about how scary driving at 140mph is. |
| When 13mpg is a new record! |
| When you step on the gas and you can see your gas needle actually go down. |
| When you refer to everything in life unmodified as "stock" or “factory." |
| You find earplugs in almost every pocket of pants you wear. |
| After a long family road trip you get out and chaulk the tires as another heat cycle. |
| Your event registrar knows you are coming home from China before your wife does. |
| You regret your spa day because you should have spent the money on rotors and brakes. |
| The only shirts you own that are less than 10 years old are all track event T shirts. |
| You've gone to a Halloween party dressed as a racecar driver because you already have the "costume" at home. |
| You adjust the camber and toe on your lawn mower. |
| When you are stuck in traffic you keep track of what cars around you might be in your class. |
| Your dog's names are Porsche and Enzo |
| Your wife is jealous of your car. |
| Your choice for a wedding band was based on which one was lighter. |
| You have to hold back the urge to ask about the local tracks when a potential employer asks you to relocate. |
| More than one racer supply house recognizes your voice and greets you by name when you call. |
| Your calendar has track dates but not birthdays or anniversaries. |
| You like the bare metal floor of your car better than the floor mats. |
| You can use a brake rotor as a mirror in a pinch |
| You come upon a debris field and can identify the car parts by Order No. |
| You'd rather have a new tow vehicle than a new street car. |
| You have the turns in your lawn numbered and you warm up the brakes on your mower. |
| You do an installation lap in the parking lot before leaving work. |
